I don't often remember dreams, so the fact that I remembered 3 from one night (well, morning) makes it worth a blog post. That and the fact that I'm still turning 2 of them over in my head, and that writing about them will help me sort through the oddities.
The main one I remember was about a
girl woman. Don't know who; I never saw her face, but she had very white skin and fleshy boobs. In the dream we were naked together in bed, but there wasn't any sex. I never saw my own body or had any awareness of it, and I didn't see her above the neck or below the waist, nor did I touch her there, or she touch me. We were kissing, but without any visibility of her face or lips, and it seemed to be the morning. The only bit of dialogue I recall was her saying something about, "Guys always say they want to just sleep over and won't try anything during the night, but you're the first one who was honest when you said it."
It wasn't clear from the dream fragment I retained upon waking if the action was taking place the morning after that sleep over, or the night before, or some later date upon which she was reminiscing about our first night together, some time in the past. Nor was it clear if the kissing and boob-fondling we were engaging in was going to lead to more, or if it was sort of my reward for not trying to rape her in her sleep.
What this mean is, as ever, unclear. On Monday I had a farewell lunch with the IG, before she left for a two month study abroad program. On Tuesday night I had a farewell movie date (Oldiana Jones 4) with the ex (Malaya) before she left for a month and a half of business/vacation travel overseas. I'm sure that thoughts of being alone for a while, since the two people I most often hang out with are gone until July, were in my head and creeping into my dream, but the woman in the dream was nothing like either Malaya or the IG, nor have my recent activities with Malaya and the IG been anything like those with the woman in the dream (much to my chagrin, in the case of the IG). Nor were the dream activities an expression of what I want to do with some as of yet unknown mystery woman.
They're quite unlike that, actually. When I envision a potential girlfriend I think about her intellect and personality and interests, since I want to have fun and be mentally stimulated and have great conversations and emails, and when I think about her body I envision a pretty face, nice hair, athletic body, perky butt, etc. White skin and boobs are way, way down my list of preferred physical features since I don't care that much about skin color and I really don't care about boob size (so long as they're not mega-implant sized monstrosities). Yet that's all I saw of the girl in my dream, and I didn't get much of her personality either, other than a vague sense that she was very passive and trusting, neither of which are qualities I especially desire in a woman.
So if she was my fantasy girlfriend, she sure was an odd choice. But why else did my subconscious conjure her into disembodied dream form?
In other odd dream news, I also had a quick one about the cat. I've been thinking about getting a kitten or a younger cat for a while, since Jinxie has so much energy and likes to play, and I think she'd enjoy another cat to do it with. She always wanted to play with Dusty, but he was old and grumpy and lazy, and only played when he wanted to, and didn't let her snuggle or sleep beside him. I don't have any immediate plans to get another cat, but the thought keeps popping into my head, most often when Jinx is tearing around the apt and barking at me and I'm trying to ignore her to get some work done.
This theme worked its way into a dream last night in an unusual way. In the dream I was going to the pound to look at cats and kittens, but when I got to the kitten room there was just one cat in it. And she was Jinx, as a kitten. Not a cat like Jinx, but Jinx herself. I clearly remember her climbing up the bars of her cage and pawing at the mousie they'd hung for her, and that active behavior (and her apparently short fur) winning Malaya and me over. (She kept the activity and gained a ton of fur.)
In the dream I thought about buying Jinx, but then somehow concluded that I didn't need to get a kitten to play with Jinx since she was already a kitten herself, and went on my merry way. The dream didn't go on long enough to see if Jinx was a kitten when I got back home, so I'm not sure what to make of that one either.
The third dream was the shortest and vaguest. In it I was driving a fire truck. I don't think I was a fireman, and I've never wanted to be a fireman or drive a fire truck, so I don't know where that one came from. I just know I was up high in a big wide seat, with a huge steering wheel in my hands, and I was driving really fast through city streets with sirens wailing and no cars in my way. I think I was alone in the truck though, without even any kittens or white torsos with fleshy boobs, and I don't know where I was going in the truck, or what I was going to do when I got there.
The common thread between all of these dreams? No idea. The only thing that rings any bells was a scene in QT's
Death Proof, which I just bought (used DVD from Blockbuster) and watched a couple of days ago. In part of the endlessly extended female bonding stuff at the start of the movie, one woman tells the others about her new semi-boyfriend, and how he whines. They were making out at her apt one night, and when she had enough and told him to leave, he tried to wheedle his way into staying overnight. He just wanted to sleep in bed with her, he wasn't going to try anything, etc. And that element apparently popped up in my white girl dream, though in that case she let me stay the night.
As for the rest? I do know that I drank way too much root beer last night and was all full of caffeine when I went to bed, and that I'd spent the hour before sleep reading another 100 pages of Dennett's absolutely fascinating and thought-provoking
Consciousness Explained, and that combined with whatever unsettled feelings I'm having after seeing my two best friends leave, for months, apparently stirred up some odd dreams. More likely the caffeine is the reason I remember them, since I didn't sleep soundly. I tend to remember dreams when I wake up during or immediately after them; when I sleep all night I never remember anything in the morning.
Don't expect a repeat of this post tomorrow, since tonight's menu includes a big glass of zinfandel and the rest of a huge pasta stirfry I whipped up yesterday, so I should be sleeping like a proverbial baby. Wine burps aside.
For a special, unrelated "bonus," here's a curious photo of some of the crops on my patio.
They're both healthy examples of trellis-climbing cucumbers, but one is suddenly yellowish, while the other is a very dark green. Here's the weird thing. They were the exact same color/size/consistency until about a week ago. The pots are the same, they were planted at the same time in the same soil, they get the same water, etc. Each holds 3 seedlings out of the same six-pack, which had one label on it, as though all six were the same strain.
They've obviously grown a fair amount since they were thumb-high sprigs in plastic egg cartons; they're now thigh high and climbing, but what prompted the color change? The obvious suggestion is that they are different types of cucumber, but their leaves are identical in shape, the flowers look just the same, and as I said, they came in the same six-pack with nothing to indicate there were 2 strains within. Even if there were 2 different types, I planted the six seedlings at random, so you'd expect me to have wound up with 2 and 1 in the pots, instead of 3 and 0.
The darker green one gets slightly more afternoon sunshine as the roof blocks out the light from the west, but I'm talking slightly more. Like 15 minutes a day. And by the same token the yellow one gets slightly more morning sun, as El Sol moves around from the east. (Or so it would appear, from our earth-bound observation point. But, to digress, how about that famous question? "What would it look like if the earth were stationary and the sun were orbiting it?" Exactly the same, I'd think, as evidenced by the ancients ascribing the same orbital path to the sun and the moon. Therefore, perhaps our natural assumption that the earth is the center of the solar system is based more on an inherent human self-centeredness than on astronomical observation. Can't this sort of psychological tendency can be seen at work in other human affairs, such as the conceit that puts man at the center of the cosmology of every religion and sets us apart from animals and the other natural forces?)
That aside, what's up with the different color cucs? That they were identical a week ago is the oddest part. They're not mature enough to produce fruit yet, just lots of yellow blossoms from which the noms will grow, and I'm now quite curious to see how the pre-pickled pickles turn out. Will the fruits look different? Taste different? More yellowy, or greeny? Like the eternal question of whether or not that's actually
your baby in your wife's tummy... only time (or
the Maury show) will tell.
Also, the relevant question might not be why one turned yellow. It's possible that it remained much the same, while the other one has suddenly turned dark dark green. Look at the "green" tree and shrub foliage in the background; it's far closer in color to the "yellow" cuc than to the green one, as is the color of my healthy "green" tomato plants.
If I had to guess, I'd say that the yellow one is retaining more water. The green one's pot blocks most of the sideways sun to the yellow one's pot, and I think the black plastic heats up in the sun and evaporates more of the water within. So perhaps by that light I'm over-watering the yellow one, even though I give them the same amount each day? Why the color change didn't start until just recently though, I can't say.
Labels: dreams, gardening, psychology
