Did you know the Miss World pageant was held last weekend? Me either. I found out one night when I checked the Yahoo News and saw nothing but beauty contestants in the most popular news photos. They didn't look that great, but I was curious enough to click through a few of the images since it was free (except for the time) -- pretty well sums up the appeal of the entire Internet there, eh?
Rather looking through a news article, I just clicked an image and then went through the slide show to get the gist of things. Purely by chance my exploration began with the 3rd place winner, who hailed from Trinidad-Tobago and must have gotten a terrible cramp tucking through the entire swimsuit event. The next image revealed of #2, a beautiful woman from India. Her attractiveness threw me off, since you so seldom see a gorgeous woman in a beauty pageant. Dazzled by that surprise my defenses were lowered, and thus the horror of the Blonde Queen shook me to my marrow. I literally gasped.
Well, gasped and added three words whose initials are W, T, and F. I'm looking at her picture right now, and while I'm no longer gasping, I'm still very W. Here's a typical shot of the royal court, or whatever they call the top finalists.
Yes, that skanky, heroin-junkie looking blonde won. I know tastes differ (as this contest proves) but she's clearly the least attractive woman in this photo. She might out-point Jennifer Garner's bastard sister in the red, but only just. Let's proceed from left to right. Miss India is spectacular, the next two are very pretty, the brunette in the middle is okay, the one in the
red orange is okay, the black girl is gorgeous but hard to see in the shadow, and Trinidad-Tobago looks like the hottest tranny this side of Beyonce. And the queen, in the middle? Um.... yeah.
Here's a collage of the top three finishers, though I suppose I should have dug up #4 also, since she'll be #3 when they get around to the physical and DQ "Miss" Trinidad-Tobago.
I realize that some people find
the Olsen Twins attractive, (the real ones, not
the idealized fake version) so there's clearly some market for starving, bony, raccoon-eyed, rat-haired, junkie blondes... but it's not one I'm shopping in. Can that many of the Miss World judges be
Full House fans?
My theory is that the contest ended up with half a dozen olive-skinned "exotic" women amongst the finalists, with that one wet cat in the mix. The judges felt bad for Miss Siberia after the sabotage the makeup artist and his can of spray paint tried to inflict upon her, so they gave her some pity votes, and with all the exotic beauties splitting the vote, the blonde won. A development that must have been as surprising to the judges as it was to her.
One of her prizes was a year's supply of Revlon products, which she'd gone through before she got to the airport.
Labels: beauty pageants
