I saw the link while browsing recent
Caption This winners on D-listed, and after a quick look, I knew I had to blog it. It's called
This is why you're fat. Dot com. It's a collection of absurdly-fattening user-submitted foods, with photos and descriptions. I've only looked through three pages so far, and nothing has blown my mind, but oddly, nothing has made me DO WANT!!1! yet either.
I'm not going to take the easy step and say that's why I'm not fat, but it might be related. I'm not an especially picky eater, but few of these "throw 5 things together and call it a new entree" appeal to me. I like a lot of the various ingredients, but when I look at the whole I envision soggy, greasy, get-cold-before-you-can-eat-it-all, clashing tastes and textures, etc. Plus there's just such a focus on oily flesh that a lot of them make me feel sort of queasy. I can enjoy a strip of bacon from time to time, ideally turkey since pig is a filthy animal, but does anyone really want a taco made from bacon?
Well obviously someone does, since a restaurant (or booth at the state fair somewhere) is selling it, but I have negative desire to put that into my mouth. There's nothing on the first 3 pages I would actually buy, even if price were no object. A few things I'm kind of curious about, but they tend to be the less mutated offerings. The cheesecake on a stick (dunked in chocolate) looks interesting, and the seven-pound breakfast burrito would be good (though I have no idea what would I do with the remaining 6 pounds after I was stuffed; reheated burrito isn't exactly appetizing), but the rest... eh. YMMV, of course. Here are a few samples:
The Nacho Burger
Five beef patties weighing five-thirds of a pound dressed with crushed Fritos, lettuce, sour cream, and a gigantic pickle on a sesame bun.
Mega Pizza
A pizza with a hot dog wrapped in bacon pigs in a blanket crust. The center is filled with italian sausage, ham, bacon, bacon bits, sliced tomato, mushroom, onion, peppers, garlic chips, basil, black pepper and tomato sauce. It can also be flavored with maple syrup and ketchup.
The Garbage Plate
A combination of either cheeseburger, hamburger, Italian sausages, steak, chicken, white or red hots, a grilled cheese sandwich, fried fish, or eggs, served on top of one or two of the following: home fries, fries, beans, and mac salad. The plate is adorned with optional mustard, onions or hot sauce.
On the other hand, how much of this is just cultural relativism? If pizza didn't exist, or chicken nachos supreme, and someone described them to you, how would you react?
"A garbage can lid-sized wheel of dough, covered in tomato sauce and an inch of cheese, with beef, pork, pepperoni, mushrooms, onions, black olives, and peppers on top. And you eat it without utensils."
That did it. Now I'm hungry...
Labels: food, humor, obesity
