BlackChampagne.com -- No longer new; improvement also in question.

BlackChampagne Home Buy Crap! I get 5%. Direct donations to cover hosting expenses are also accepted. Site Information --What is Black Champagne? --Cast of Characters & Things --Your First Time. --Design Notes --Quote of the Day Archive --Phrase of the Moment Archive --Site Feedback --Contact/Copyright Info Blog Archives --Blogger Archives: June 2005- --Old Monthly Archives: Jan 2002-May 2005 Reviews Section Movie Reviews (153) Ten Most Recent Film Reviews: --Infernal Affairs -- 5.5 --The Protector/Tom Yum Goong -- 6 --The Limey -- 8 --The Descent -- 6 --Oldboy -- 9.5 --Shaolin Deadly Kicks -- 7 --Mission Impossible III -- 7.5 --V for Vendetta -- 8.5 --Ghost in the Shell 2 -- 8 --Night Watch -- 7.5 Book Reviews (76) Five Most Recent Book Reviews: --Cat People -- 4 --Attack Poodles -- 5 --Caught Stealing -- 6 --The Dirt, by Motley Crue -- 7.5 --Harry Potter #6 -- 7 Photos Section --Flux Photos --Pet Photos (7 pages) --Home Decor Photos --Plant Photos --Vacation Photos (12 pages) Articles See all 234 articles here. Fiction Original horror and fantasy short stories. Mail Bags Index Page Features --Links --Slang: Internet --Slang: Dirty --Slang: Wankisms --Slang: Sex Acts --Slang: Fulldeckisms --Hot or Not? --Truths in Advertising Band Name Ratings (350 Rock Bands Listed) FAQ -- Feedback A -- B -- C -- D -- E -- F -- G -- H -- I -- J -- K -- L -- M -- N -- O -- P -- Q -- R -- S -- T -- U -- V -- W -- X -- Y -- Z Hellgate: London --The Unofficial HGL Site --The Hellgate Wiki Diablo II --The Unofficial Site --Flux's Decahedron --Middle Earth Mod
	BlackChampagne -- no longer new; improvement also in question.: Doom (ed), the Movie Wednesday, July 27, 2005 Doom (ed), the Movie The teaser trailer for Doom, a movie based on the oh so imaginatively-titled video game is now online. While admittedly I don't believe I've ever played the game (I played either Doom or Quake some, years ago, but can never remember which.), I have to say that this is maybe the worst action movie trailer I've ever seen. This one makes AVP look like Shakespeare. Doom stars a professional wrestler, it looks like a low budget rip off of Aliens, it's visually dead, and they pack half a dozen cheesy action movie cliches into less than two minutes of footage. The whole plot of scientists creating genetic mutants who run wild has been beaten to death, but I assume that's the plot of the game they're basing it on, so I'll let it pass. Entirely aside from the plot though. Ugh. There's the "Are you alright, friend?" shot, where the friend of course leaps out and attacks in horrible mutated form. There's the "Oh, that sound was just a rat, I'll relax and then get grabbed from behind/below/above." scene. There's the "We're losing containment! Everyone out!" shot of a crowd panicking as monsters descend upon them. There are at least four or five "What was that?" shots, as something runs past between the camera and the heroes, who are helpfully standing in the only light source around, and looking in every direction but the one towards the camera and the thing. There was even a shot of the hero swinging on a chain and kicking the huge and horrible monster in the head, which is certainly the first thing you'd do when fighting a monster twice your size that's equipped with teeth sufficient to bite you off to the lower thigh. And these are just in the trailer! Imagine how much formulaic shit they'll unleash with an entire movie to fill? Playing a video game where you wander around in the dark and blast whatever monster leaps out at you is fun. Watching a movie of it is death, as AVP found out, and Doom looks likely to learn. Posted by: Flux # 12:58 AM Comments: It is apparently all set on Mars though, as in the games. They had to change it to mutants because Hell, as portrayed in the games would be dead-weight at the box office (I don't quite follow that logic, but thats what they say). But they try and be a little bit vague with it, giving you some sort of silly "different types of Hell" crap to swallow. #: 1:46 PM posted by Anonymous Ahh, so it's Resident Evil, on Mars, without any hot chicks. Good choices all around by the producers there, eh? The movie might not be horrible, for all we know; I'm just judging it by the trailer, which was dreadful. Perhaps some studio hack clipped out every action movie cliche and stuck them into the trailer, and there's actually quite a bit of creative stuff in the rest of the film. No, I don't believe that either. #: 1:50 PM posted by Flux In the original Doom games... Some company invented these teleporters, and for some reason demons from hell started pouring out of one at a moon base, right? But in the remake version, they discover some kind of alien artifact on Mars, right? I remember the original games fondly. It got repetitive after a while, but still good. You battle though a moon base, into hell, and then back through another portal onto earth (disembodied rabbit head!!), where you then rescue humanity... Yeah, this remake is f-ed up. Look up Penny Arcade's take on the thing: http://www.penny-arcade.com/ view.php?date=2004-12-08 And speaking of Uwe Boll... http://www.penny-arcade.com/ news.php?date=2005-01-03 links cut in half #: 4:01 PM posted by Anonymous Might want to beta test the portal to/from hell before going live with it, eh? #: 8:57 PM posted by Donnie (aka Shadowtwin) Wait... why would you want a portal to/from Hell anyway? I mean, going by Christian theology all you have to do to get there is sin and die, so were they trying to bring people/souls back? Or was there a worldwide brimstone shortage and they wanted to make a quick buck, or what? #: 4:03 AM posted by Flux Yeah, Hell demons hacked into the teleport system from outside the loop to gain access to the mortal realm. In Doom 1 and 2, anyway. I guess in the end, Doom is a cautionary tale about the folly of man messing with the fabric of space. :p #: 6:02 AM posted by Anonymous Post a Comment << Home Archives May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2012

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