BlackChampagne Home

In association with Amazon.comBuy Crap! I get 5%.
Direct donations to cover hosting expenses are also accepted.

Site Information
--What is Black Champagne?
--Cast of Characters & Things
--Your First Time.
--Design Notes
--Quote of the Day Archive
--Phrase of the Moment Archive
--Site Feedback
--Contact/Copyright Info

Blog Archives
--Blogger Archives: June 2005-
--Old Monthly Archives: Jan 2002-May 2005

Reviews Section
Movie Reviews (153)

Ten Most Recent Film Reviews:
--Infernal Affairs -- 5.5
--The Protector/Tom Yum Goong -- 6
--The Limey -- 8
--The Descent -- 6
--Oldboy -- 9.5
--Shaolin Deadly Kicks -- 7
--Mission Impossible III -- 7.5
--V for Vendetta -- 8.5
--Ghost in the Shell 2 -- 8
--Night Watch -- 7.5

Book Reviews (76)
Five Most Recent Book Reviews:
--Cat People -- 4
--Attack Poodles -- 5
--Caught Stealing -- 6
--The Dirt, by Motley Crue -- 7.5
--Harry Potter #6 -- 7

Photos Section
--Flux Photos
--Pet Photos (7 pages)
--Home Decor Photos
--Plant Photos
--Vacation Photos (12 pages)

Articles
See all 234 articles here.

Fiction
Original horror and fantasy short stories.

Mail Bags
Index Page

Features
--Links
--Slang: Internet
--Slang: Dirty
--Slang: Wankisms
--Slang: Sex Acts
--Slang: Fulldeckisms
--Hot or Not?
--Truths in Advertising

Band Name Ratings
(350 Rock Bands Listed)
FAQ -- Feedback
A -- B -- C -- D -- E -- F -- G -- H -- I -- J -- K -- L -- M -- N -- O -- P -- Q -- R -- S -- T -- U -- V -- W -- X -- Y -- Z

Hellgate: London
--The Unofficial HGL Site
--The Hellgate Wiki

Diablo II
--The Unofficial Site
--Flux's Decahedron
--Middle Earth Mod

Locations of visitors to this page

Powered by Blogger.

BlackChampagne -- no longer new; improvement also in question.: Daredevil?



Saturday, November 12, 2005  

Daredevil?


We just saw the last half hour of Daredevil on some cable network, and I'm kind of at a loss for words. It was astonishingly bad. Painfully, terribly, horribly bad. Jaw-droppingly bad. It played like a parody of an action film, and I'm not even thinking about the acting, since we all know BaF can't act. I'm talking about the story, the direction, and especially the CG action scenes.

I guess Robocop 3 is still the worst movie I've ever seen, a reaction also based on an accidental viewing of the last half hour of it on commercial television. But that's not really a fair comparison, since Daredevil probably spent more on Jennifer Garner's leather costumes than they had for the entire Robocop 3 budget. I've definitely never seen a less-exciting final battle scene in any film than I just saw in Daredevil, and the CG leaping around Daredevil and Bullseye did was astonishingly fake. Rubbery, weightless, and basically just Jar Jar-esque. I'm honestly amazed that it could have been as bad as it was, with literally every shot of action either obviously bad CGI, or else obviously fake wire fu. How was that an actual theatrical production? Did they have no one to supervise the stunt work and notice how terrible it was?

And yeah, I'm pretty harsh and getting harsher on fight scenes in films, as I get more experience and a better eye at judging fight scenes in real life, but the ones in Daredevil were just awful. No grasp of physics, no ability in the actors to throw a real punch or kick, horrible blender-style editing with every move shown from five different angles, etc. The saddest thing about how bad movie fight scenes are is that I know how exciting and cool they can be in real life. I'm serious, any good thirty second sparring session in any of the kali classes I attend is more exciting to watch than 90% of the multi-million dollar battle sequences in big budget Hollywood movies. How films are so seldom able to capture even a fraction of the excitement of real combat is becoming more and more of a mystery to me, as I get better at seeing just how woefully fake they are.
Comments:

Hollywood thinks that people want people flying and being thrown through walls/windows/phonebooths and punching people onto building tops.

I personally would rather Jennifer Garner stand there naked instead of fight scenes like that. Or real fighting. Seeing Jennifer Garner get her ass genuinely kicked on film would be great too.


 

Starship Troopers 2 was pretty aweful. It was on TV so we watched the first 10 minutes of it and then gave up - nothing at all like the first movie. Some marine gets hurt by the insects as they're retreating into a bunker, and spends the rest of the intro screaming in agony while all the other characters sit around attending to him / trying to get the radio to work. They were all aweful actors with hammy lines, too.

In the first one, they would have just shot him.


 

As someone who has zero martial arts experience, let me also add that Daredevil was an awful movie. Nice concept of a combic book hero, but the acting, action, and script...not so good.


 

Well I think we'd all take JAf standing around naked over her acting in any film to date. But since that's not yet an option, it's just cruel to bring it up.

I went back and read my robocop 3 review after making this post, and in retrospect it was much, much worse than DD. On the other hand, it was also much cheaper, and it was so bad it was funny, with the obvious cuts to manikins blowing up, and so on. DD was just depressing, as I saw the money on the screen being used so poorly. Seriously, what the hell was that scene with DD and Bullseye climbing and leaping up the improperly-secured organ pipes? Could they have been any more rubbery? That sort of thing makes me worry about all of the CG Kong vs. T-Rex action coming up next month.

As for Starship Troopers 2, I simply refuse to watch that. I thought the first film was one of the worst ever made, thanks to the idiotic plot and horrendously awful acting overpowering the generally excellent special effects and eye candy. ST, along with the James Bond film she was a few years later (I'm a nuklular scientist! Giggle!) cemented Denise Richard's place atop my personal pantheon of awful actresses. The fact that ST2 had an even dumber plot, horrible special effects, and actors even less known/worse than Casper van Diem and Denise Richards makes my head hurt. I find it hard to believe such images could actually stick to the surface of a DVD.


 

But, you aren't bitter or anything, right?


 

i think ben affleck is a gorgeous


 

Post a Comment << Home

Archives

May 2005   June 2005   July 2005   August 2005   September 2005   October 2005   November 2005   December 2005   January 2006   February 2006   March 2006   April 2006   May 2006   June 2006   July 2006   August 2006   September 2006   October 2006   November 2006   December 2006   January 2007   February 2007   March 2007   April 2007   May 2007   June 2007   July 2007   August 2007   September 2007   October 2007   November 2007   December 2007   January 2008   February 2008   March 2008   April 2008   May 2008   June 2008   July 2008   August 2008   September 2008   October 2008   November 2008   December 2008   January 2009   February 2009   March 2009   April 2009   May 2009   June 2009   July 2009   August 2009   September 2009   October 2009   November 2012  

All site content copyright "Flux" (Eric Bruce), 2002-2007.