While we joke about it all the time, largely motivated by Malaya's misguided and overly-kind contention that I'm actually physically attractive, I am not really much of a himbo. Until recent years I never worried much about color coordination, I never owned more than one pair of wearable shoes at a time (well, 2 if you could sandals and 3 if you count hiking boots), I got my hair cut seasonally, if that often, and the vast majority of my wardrobe was black. That all began to change once I moved in with Malaya and started wanting to look, if not good, then at least better. I diversified to two pairs of sneakers and added a pair of dress shoes, I got a few more semi-formal button up shirts to wear on our rare sort of dressed up dates, shaved every day, and so forth.
The real himbosity didn't begin until relatively recently, when I started buying dri-weave athletic clothing. I'd just worn cotton t's for most of my life, not really paying much attention to the discomfort I felt with a sweaty, heavy, clammy cotton t-shirt on my back, post workout. I started to really notice it during Kali class, since we get sweaty, stand around for discussion and teaching, take turns doing exertions, and so on. It's a lot of sweat, stand, sweat, stand, and while sweaty cotton isn't a big deal if you're still sweating, it's not much fun when you're not. Driving home was especially icky, with the icy cold sweat against my back. I took to carrying spare t's in the car just to change after class.
I still do, but after noticing that another student often wore shimmery, polyester-type shirts, and that he didn't seem to be all wet on the back after class, I thought I'd try one of those shirts. So I got a short sleeved one, and wore it to the gym and then to class, and loved it. Nice fit, very light, and since the sweat wicks away and evaporates, I didn't feel all weighed down and gross. So I got another one. And another one. And two more in different colors.
Fast forward a few months, and I'm up to maybe 18 long sleeve shirts that look something
like this.
Or this. (And I'd especially wear
this one, if I were a girl.) All different styles, from plain solid colors to ones with stripes and lines, some are rough textured, others are very thin and light and shiny, and on and on. I've also got a good 8 pairs of workout shorts, all shiny, all varying colors, and another half dozen long pants along the same lines. All very functional, all comfortable, and all worn constantly, either to Kali or the gym.
The himbo aspect comes in now -- since I've got so many of those garments, and since they're in so many different colors, usually with a highlighting stripe of a different color, I can suddenly color coordinate. In fact I not only can, I'm sort of compelled to, since when my shirt's orange with white piping, I'm not going to wear blue pants and black shoes along with it. What, is this a contest to use the most colors in a single outfit? Like the old school Geocities website design aesthetic? Of course I've got to coordinate, and as I engage in even my vestigial efforts at such, I get some insight into what it's like to be a girl. No wonder they've got so many bags, and hair pins, and shoes, and bangly bracelets, and so on. They can only wear a few of them with a few outfits, and they've got to plan it all out in advance, and then see how it looks once it's actually on their bodies.
Like, ohmigod, it so doesn't go with the highlights in my hair!
Anyway, I'm not color matching manpurses yet, and I've only got three pairs of shoes, but those damn two-tone himbo shirts are definitely
forcing allowing me to match up colors and styles in ways I never before done.
Fortunately, for my bursting closet and misplaced self-respect, I've put a moratorium on buying any more himbo shirts. Just now we desperately need to wash clothing, and even with all of my socks dirty and most of my pants, I've still got clean: 4 or 5 long sleeve shiny shirts, 2 very tight Underarmour type shirts, 3 of my 5 sleeveless workout shirts, and about eight old t's that I'm supposed to wear to the gym. And if I can't get all of them dirty, even after going to the gym or Kali about 19 out of the last 21 days, I've got too many of them.
Of course you'll notice that I'm still clinging to outdated clothing concepts; no true himbo would even consider having so few clothes that all of them were dirty at the same time. Plus, I get all of my clothing at TJ Maxx or Ross or other discount places, where the $30-40 MSRP on the himbo shirts is discounted to $14 or $12 or $9. As such I can't get any style I want, I can only pick the best of the factory extras and such that show up there. So I've got one or two of every color, in a variety of mismatched sizes, some with stripes, some plain, some heavy, some light, etc. God help me (and the world!) if I ever get some money and a home with a bigger closet. If I could go to actual department stores and pay the laughable MSRP on these items, I would be as giddy as a kept wife in a shoe store.
Speaking of shoes, I got my second pair of $100 sneakers this weekend, and yes, they're himbotastic. I got an expensive pair of
Nike Shox a few months ago. They're still doing me pretty well, but they're dark blue and silver, and I wanted a lighter-colored pair, perhaps with some dark red on them. Yes, I went shopping for shoes, at least partially motivated by thoughts of what color they would be. Is that a bad sign? Is metrosexuality just around the corner?
As you can see, I pretty much got what I wanted. I was thinking silver and white when we got to the mall, but I couldn't go with just those colors, or plain white, like seemingly everyone else wears. Too plain. This pair fit the bill nicely, and yes, I tried them on first and really liked the feel; they're very springy and fit nicely, besides being pretty.
My other pair of Shox are actually not that great; the spring things are actually very stiff, and while they feel good to run in, they're hard on my feet just standing still, and I feel a bit too high above the ground in them. These new ones are Nike Shox Oz, if you must have a pair of your own, and while I've only worn them to the gym twice thus far, I can't help but recommend them. They were $100, on a special one day 25% off sale, or I probably wouldn't have gotten them, since I wasn't looking to spend that much.
And the fact that I've thus far worn nothing but white, silver, and dark red clothing with those shoes is a complete coincidence, I assure you. As is the fact that I can't pack for my week-long Thanksgiving vacation yet. It has nothing to do with the fact that everything is dirty and I have to wait until we wash things tomorrow so I can coordinate some cute outfits to take with me. *cough*
