I never listen to the radio, and I haven't watched Mtv in years, so I never get exposed to any new music. For the most part this is a choice, since like almost every living human past the age of 24, I think all new music sucks and sounds like a cheap ripoff of something I like when I was 15 (which of course sounded like a cheap rip off of something popular before I was alive, unbeknownst to me). In light of that, when I saw a link to
Rolling Stone's top 100 songs of the 2006, I clicked it out of curiosity.
As expected, I've never heard most of the songs. In fact, I've never heard of most of the songs, or the groups playing them. Out of the top 20, I've heard #1 (Gnarls Barkley, Crazy), #11 (Pearl Jam, World Wide Suicide), and maybe #20. (I heard some Dixie Chicks song when this album was new, but I don't think it was this one.) Extending my survey to the top 30 changes little. I've heard part of #21 (Justin Timberland, Sexy Back), and I kind of like #22 (RHCP, Tell Me Baby, though I wouldn't put it in their top 20 best tunes). That's it.
As for the bands? I've heard of the artists who did 1, 6, 11, 12, 17, 18, and 20. So hey, 35% of the top 20. Probably slightly more than either of my parents could boast!
I'm not looking to change this, since I don't care about the musical aspect of pop culture, but I was kind of curious, and thanks to YouTube's convenient copyright violation master list, I knew I could see a video for every song. So here we go. The song names are linked to YouTube videos, and if they go dead you can always just search by the song/artist and find a newer upload.
#1:
Crazy, Gnarls Barkley. I have to admit to liking this song a lot. I think I blogged about it at some point, but I've been listening to it on and off all year, and Malaya bought it from iTunes, so we can hear it in the car. It's entirely innocuous, but it's got a nice rhythm and beat and the vocals are divine.
#2,
Steady as She Goes. The Raconteurs. Bored me, band has no look, and sounds like a bad lounge act covering Nirvana. Slow parts, repetitious verses, with occasional moments of faster rocking, which quickly fade to a boring endless chorus that repeats the title over and over and over again, with none of the brooding or melancholy that made it work or say, Nirvana. This is why people like me, who grew up with metal and alternative and grunge, can't stand any current rock groups.
#3:
Ridin, Chamomille. After an unfortunate opening with some sort of pro wrestling montage, this one revealed itself as... the (maybe) best Weird Al song ever! I had no idea who he got
White and Nerdy from, but apparently it's this song. Watch the Weird Al version if you must; it's the same song but it's funny. Plus his name isn't better known as a type of tea.
#4:
What You Know, T.I. The billionth rap song about being rich and misunderstood, and I'm pretty much tired of the highly-derivative genre by now, but this isn't a bad song. It's got an interesting music bed; all synthizers that almost sound like something from Chariots of Fire. If the guy's got anything to say, I couldn't tell you what it is; the soothing music lulls the attention and then he's mostly just muttering "wha'chou know abou' dat?" for the 4 minutes. I can't imagine listening to this on purpose, but I didn't stop it to avoid hearing it, as I did with most of the songs on this top 10 list.
#5:
Vans, The Pack. More rap, this time a song about Vans. You know, the shoes. It's funny that those are popular again, since they're all I wore from about 8-10th grade, since I was a skateboarder and they were good for that, and were underground fashion at the time. I've not worn any for at least a decade, but find it amusing that contemporary hip hop artists are now embracing them. Remember what I said about how all this music sounds like something I liked when I was 15? Apparently that goes for the fashions too. As for the song, eh. It's basically the same as #4; 90% chorus and soothing, low key music; the whole thing kind of travels below my audible threshold, it's basically filler mood music; not something I'd ever listen to with any attention paid to it, but at least it's not actively unpleasant.
#6,
Thunder on the Mountain, Bob Dylan. I've always made an effort to avoid Dylan for the same reason I scorn the Beatles annual rereleased greatest hits. I just get sick of baby boomers digging up everything they thought was great in 1967 and trying to force everyone under 40 to embrace it too. I'm willing to give this song a try, but it's not easy. There are only 6 returns for this song on YouTube, compared to thousands for all the others on the list yet, which probably says a lot about Dylan's popularity amongst the under 25 set who power YouTube. All are videos of various concert performances too, so the sound isn't good. The linked one is about the best, and as for the song... eh. Dylan reminds me of the Grateful Dead, where every song is performed (live) by a vast rock orchestra with keyboards, drums, guitars, strings, bells, whistles, and more. It makes every song sound basically the same, and Dylan's mumbly lyrics don't do much to help. This isn't bad, but it's unnecessary, and indistinguishable from 50 other post-hippy blues-style rock jams.
#7:
Smile, Lily Allen. Wow, it's No Doubt! With one of the Spice Girls on vocals! Seriously, WTF? This is weird. Is this English music, or is she some Britney clone affecting an accent to stand out? Anyway, I got through about 2 minutes (most of it spent typing this entry) and lost interest.
#8:
Wamp Wamp (What It Do), Clipse with Slim Thug. Well, I'm guessing rap, by the title. (Quite an insight, eh?) The song's got a great beat and music, with the steel drum and other percussion. The rapping is pretty disposable, but repeating the chorus occupies less than 75% of the total run time, so they get bonus points for actually writing some lyrics. I do miss the early rap, when groups with multiple vocalists actually interacted. Run DMC and The Beastie Boys, for instance, teamed up on almost every line, taking turns talking, using their voices as instruments with different pitches and rhythms, etc. Every song now is so lazy, with two or three guys just taking turns talking, and maybe doubling up on the chorus, at best.
#9:
Dimension, Wolfmother. None of the first page of results is the video, and since concert recordings always suck for sound, my link goes to some homemade video. I'm listening while typing anyway, rather than watching. And I'm apparently listening to Led Zepplin. Seriously, this is a new band? Do they pay Robert Plant and Jimmy Page royalties? Next.
#10:
Oh La La, Goldfrapp. It's some kind of Britney/Christina-styled club dance song, but it's not bad. Like most of the rest, I wouldn't listen to it on purpose, but it's decent background noise. Reminds me of Madonna's Zephyr Song, with more insipid vocals/lyrics. It's funny how music works; you can make a great song with about 25 words, 10 of which you repeat 50 times during the chorus. Imagine if books worked that way? Several straight pages of the same sentence, over and over again? And then a page of new words, and then more pages of the same sentence. That would obviously be unreadable, but somehow it works with music, since the sound soothes or lulls our critical thinking brain?
And, that'll do it for this year's Rolling Stone Top Ten! I heard nothing I want to hear again (other than Crazy and the Weird Al remake) but it wasn't nearly as painful as I expected going in. If anyone wants to recommend a new song they actually like, feel free in comments. I'll give it a listen. That's what YouTube is for, after all.
Labels: music, rap, weird al, you tube
