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BlackChampagne -- no longer new; improvement also in question.: The toothpaste's out of the tube



Wednesday, October 31, 2007  

The toothpaste's out of the tube


Lately, it seems there's almost daily news about yet another moralizing, bible-thumping, right wing, sanctimonious Republican getting caught sucking cock in a men's room. Today's installment features a state representative from Washington, and has enough funny elements I couldn't resist posting about it.
State Rep. Richard Curtis, R-La Center, admitted to having sex with a man he met at an adult video store in Spokane last week, according to a police report released Tuesday afternoon.

The police report offers a damning and far different version of events from the brief account Curtis gave to The Columbian Monday, one that seems likely to threaten Curtis’ political future.

The report is filled with graphic details of an encounter that began at a porn store on a Spokane Valley strip and concluded miles away in Curtis’ room at the city’s poshest hotel.

The police report contains an account of how Curtis allegedly donned women’s clothing, red stockings and a black sequined lingerie top before engaging in a sex act at the store. He continued to wear them throughout the night under his clothing.

...Curtis, 48, is married and has two daughters. The two-term legislator and retired fire department captain was in Spokane last week for a retreat with other Republican lawmakers in preparation for the 2008 Legislature.

...Castagna said Curtis told him that "his wife knew he liked men when they got married, but she was not into that, so he only did that when he was out of town," the detective wrote in his report.
How's that for the trifecta grand slam something metaphorically featuring more than four key points?
  • Cheating on his wife.
  • At a Republican retreat.
  • While cross-dressing.
  • In a porn store.
  • With a male.
  • Prostitute.
Richie's scored pretty high on the scandal-o-meter with this effort, but fear, you thousands of remaining gay, self-loathing, Republican politicians. This is impressive, but it can still be bested. Imagine if the honorable Representative had used drugs to entice an underaged slice of boytang back to his room? See, there are at least two more points to score, and that's before going to extremes, such as leaving the kid's dismembered body in the dumpster behind his hotel.

So yeah, it was a good effort, and the fact that the Republican basically outed himself by reporting the kid's nickel-and-dime extortion attempts is a nice bonus point, but I'm sure within the next year or two we'll see another white male family values campaigner top this one.

As for the title of this post, it's a quote found within the body of the article. I found it deliciously metaphor-rich, given the context in which it was used.

Labels: ,

Comments:

Does he dye his moustache or what?


 

See, I was going to make a joke about why a man with his extra-marital habits might have a mustache a different color than the rest of his hair, but I thought that would be a bit crass. Not to mention insulting towards those who engage in the noble sacrifice that is fellatio.

That and i was too lazy to include his humorous photo in the update.


 

My favorite part is actually "she was not into that, so he holy did that when he was out of town." It's okay as long as the odds of his wife finding out are really low!


 

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