I posted last week that I was all but done with my degree. I was done with the semester and had no mystery about passing my classes; the only doubt there is if I'll get a 4.0 for the term or not. I think I will, but an A- could creep in from Speech & Rhetoric, the only non-major, non-upper division class I was taking (and the one I put by far the least importance on). Not that my grades matter, for any reason I can think of. But if I'm taking classes I'm interested (for the most part) in, I figure I might as well get something out of them. And in almost every class I've taken in my (now-concluded) return to college, getting an A has almost been an unavoidable result of coming to class, keeping up with the readings, and paying attention to the lectures.
I did as little of those things as possible in high school, since I wasn't learning anything interesting, and I hated having to be there. In college, this time around at least, I've done it willingly and paid quite a bit for the privilege, so of course I'm paying attention in class and trying to learn from the material. My objective wasn't to slide through with a degree while making as little effort as possible; my objective was to learn from and enjoy the experience along the way. And I did, for the most part, and as a natural extension of that effort, I got good grades.
So I passed everything pretty easily, including the final hurdle, a math competency exam I took this morning. Great success! I was worried going in, since I hadn't exactly been killing the practice tests (more on those in a bit), and if I didn't pass the test I would have to enroll for the spring semester, simply to take a single piddling math class to meet my graduation requirement. Why a Humanities degree requires a math class, I couldn't entirely say. I guess it's just part of the whole well-rounded, liberal arts education concept. I never used any math in any of my classes.
The exam, as longed for and simultaneously dreaded as an accurate account of
Jennifer Love Hewitt's measurements, was called
the CLEP, and as the official site discusses, these tests can be used to meet basic requirements and save time/money at college. I took the basic
English Composition test before I resumed my college career 18 months ago, since I was not about to sit through English 101 when I could dismiss that requirement, and earn 3 units, with one 60 minute, $90, computer-scored exam. I remember nothing about it, other than that it was almost entirely sentence structure and reading comprehension and vocabulary, acquired writing skills that I roll 18s in, at this point. At least in comparison to the average incoming college student.
I knew I needed to take the CLEP College Math exam too, or else take a 3 unit math class, but I put it off, and put it off, until finally I was a month from graduating, with every requirement set to be met... every requirement except that math competency test. So I scheduled it for mid-November, and then postponed it since I was just swamped by other work and didn't have time to study. The next test date was December 14th, and that was the last time I could take it and still have Fall '07 be my last semester. So it was on, and if you're about to suggest that I spent the week+ since my last final studying diligently for this crucial math test... you must experience a lot of disappointment when your expectations fail to mesh with reality.
I'd talk about the test now that I've passed it, but 1) I'd be talking about a math test, which has to be pretty much chloroform in print except for some small, deviant population of math geeks that I might belong to, and 2) I'd be breaking the law. Well, not the law, but before starting the computerized test I had to click through about five pages reminiscent of those software installment agreements we all skim over without reading and then proceed to break without a hint of guilt. In this case, I'm going to shu' my mouf', since included in the terms of taking the CLEP were things like, not transmitting any info about it, including via email or other online sources, with penalties like having my exam score invalidated. I can't imagine anyone would ever know or check or care, but just in case... Besides, see point #1 above. You're not missing anything.
I will point you to the
official College Board page for the math test though, and quite briefly (and selectively) from it. Here are the topics covered on the test, with their approximate importance. See the linked page for more details.
- 10% -- Sets
- 10% -- Logic
- 20% -- Real Number System
- 20% -- Functions and Their Graphs
- 25% -- Probability and Statistics
- 15% -- Additional Topics from Algebra and Geometry
If you want more detail (I'm sure most of you are simply quivering for it), check the test books section of your local library or bookstore, and you'll see numerous competing guides. I bought books by The Princeton Review and Research and Educational Association, and checked out Peterson's CLEP Success. All of them have basic info about the tests, study material, practice tests for a variety of CLEP exams. The verdict? They all suck.
Well, let me clarify. I would
not have passed the test without studying these guides, since I was way, way, way out of practice on most of the skills required (since high school, in many cases), but the quality of instruction and information vary widely between the various books, and none of them did a very good job preparing me for what would be on the actual test. I was able to relearn and remind myself of things from working through these books though, and my overall comprehension of the math issues was sufficient, so I can't really complain. The test has 60 questions, only some of which are scored. I don't know how they weight the questions; all are supposed to be equally important, but 80 is a perfect score. I needed 50 to pass, and I got 65, and knew I was fine 20 minutes into the exam, when I was sure about my answers on maybe 28 or 30 out of the first 35.
That stood in marked contrast to my experience with almost all of the practice tests, which were all much harder than the actual exam, and simply choked with trick questions, sneaky definitions, deceptive wording, and much more difficult problems than they presented in the pre-test review material. The
Peterson's book was both the best and worst. It had about 20 pages of excellent basic math review on everything I needed for the CLEP. That part was great. It followed those pages, and the numerous review problems that concluded each review section, with a 65 question test that had questions written by some sort of malevolent cyber-professor, out to crush the spirit and desire of the worthless meat units.
I spent about 4 hours last night going through the whole Peterson's guide, figuring out all the sample problems and background info, solving every review question, and feeling like I had a pretty good handle on things. And then I got to their sample test, and often found myself laughing out loud at the questions, they were so unrelated to the review material 5 pages earlier. Routinely I'd read a question, curse the imaginary math gods, and flip back to the review section to see if it was as completely removed from the sample test question as it seemed to me. In almost every case the answer was yes. Yes it was.
Happily, the actual exam was not all full of weird problems, trick questions, or super-complicated equations that vastly exceeded the basic competency-testing point of the exercise. So I passed, and now I'm actually done, save for the registrar completing paperwork and approving course substitutions and getting the official results of my CLEP exam, etc. Which once again begs the questions... what now?
Well, short term I'm trying to relax and enjoy some vacation time. I'm going down to San Diego to visit the folks for a week over Xmas, and plan to do quite a bit of nothing while I'm there, and perhaps eat too much. I can probably stand to, since I've lost weight from all the work and stress during this past semester. That and my main recreation/fitness activity/stress reliever has become bike riding. There are some really nice mountain bike trials all over a small mountain/nature preserve a few miles from my condo here in San Rafael, and I've taken to riding 2-3 hours there a couple of times a week. I cover about 25 miles each time, at least 15 of that up and down rather steep hills/rough terrain, and while I've got no idea of the actual mileage or what my heart rate is, I'm as fit as I've been in years, and certainly have the flattest, washyboardy abs I've had since about 22. No, no pics. Do try to control your disappointment.
Extended periods of non-stop pedaling along winding, occasionally-precipitous forest paths is a great deal more fun than walking in place on a gym machine, though I must admit the lack of any opportunities to eyeball nubile young women in spandex is a drawback. Well, they're not entirely lacking, it's just that the few I see are usually flashing past on their own bikes, which isn't quite the same as seeing one take her turn in the buttblaster leg lift machine. Pleasant as the imagery it evokes may be, I have to admit my comparison is flawed, and entirely hypothetical. I've not been to a gym since I moved 12 months ago, and the gym Malaya and I went to was almost entirely populated by aging housewives anyway.
Yes, I digress. Too many thoughts in my head today.
So I passed the math CLEP, and found out the minute the test was over, since it's computer graded. It was about 11am then, and since I'd gotten just a 2.5 hour nap before the test, after staying up until 6:30, I had my sights set on a nap. Driving home I called back a friend who'd just texted to wish me well, then spent a few minutes giggling and shrieking in relieved happiness, before parking my car, walking into my apt, and finding Jinx still nestled deeply into my heavy comforter, where I'd left her 2 hours earlier. Way to miss Daddy, little kettle!
I wanted to pace and scream and shout, and I was hella hungry, but I settled for undressing, lying down, turning on the wall heater, propping my cold toesies in front of it, and texting the news to Malaya and my parents. Next thing I knew it was afternoon, Jinx was lying halfway over my right shoulder, my neck was sore, and I had nothing approaching the energy or gumption to get out and bundle up for a bike ride, even though the day was sunny. So I dozed a while longer, then got up and started pacing. And I'm still at it, 4 hours later. I've been surfing peripatetically, doing housework, washing dishes, watering plants, playing with Jinx (who finally woke up to go sit in the living room window and enjoy the last of the day's sun), and wishing anyone I knew in real life had time for me tonight.
For the last few months I've been friends with a lovely young woman I met at college. She's curious to see herself blogged about here, but hasn't been able to come up with a satisfactory alias yet, so at this point I'll just call her IG, short for "imaginary girlfriend." Which she is. To me anyway. We're good friends and have been talking, texting, and emailing all semester, and have gone on a number of "dates" since our bi-weekly, history-class meetings came to an end in late November, but she's not ready to commit to anything more than companionship. I'm not sure if I am either, but I wouldn't mind moving kinda in that direction. And who knows; maybe we will. At any rate, she's the person I've been spending most of my social time with, and we had a great time doing a mutual celebration of the end of the semester. Unfortunately, she's busy with family obligations tonight and has to work and do other things all weekend, so we can't get together again until next Tuesday. With IG off the social menu, I tried to turn to my ex-girlfriend but still good friend, Malaya. She's been incommunicado all afternoon/evening though, and would probably have had other work-related tasks tonight anyway.
That left... no one. I know various other people, through Kali and school, but none of them are people I socialize with, or want to be around when I'm happy and wanting to have fun. Or vice versa, I suspect. The penalty of being a relatively private person, or at least one who's picky about who he socializes with.
The irony is that in the old days, i.e. anytime before about July, I'd have been quite happy being alone tonight. I spent a decade enjoying my own company more than that of anyone else, and was much happier writing, or surfing, or gaming, than doing anything social. That was always the case when I lived in San Diego, and it didn't change much once I moved up to the Bay Area to live with Malaya. I just had a girlfriend who was about as close to a soulmate as I'm likely ever to meet, and we had highly overlapping interests (hence my soulmate mention) and generally enjoyed doing the same thing. Eventually it became clear that she liked to go out and do things more often than I did, and that was a source of some friction.
Ironic friction, since in retrospect I can now empathize with her, since I've been doing similar academic activities to the ones she was frequently laboring through, and now I want to go out and do fun stuff after days or weeks or months of heard school work. Pity I didn't get into the back to university thing 3 years ago, or we'd have had that much more in common, and could have really enjoyed relaxing and partying when our semesters ended.
So now I've got no one to party with, at least tonight, and as this entry keeps getting longer and longer, and I keep falling victim to distraction and diversion, then returning to continue its interminable
construction composition it. I considered going out, but I can't find enough restlessness/interest to do that on my own. Where would I go? What would I do? Movies and eating out aren't any fun solo, and I can't think what I want to eat anyway. Maybe I'll go get a pizza once I post this: I haven't had one of those in weeks.
I don't have any interest in going to a bar, especially not a singles bar, and I don't play arcade games anymore, nor even know where an arcade might be found these days, other than in the lobby of a movie theater. I don't want to watch a movie, or a DVD, or buy/rent a new one, and I had the cable turned off months ago, so even if I wanted to watch TV, I don't have that option. I'm too restless to get into a book, even though I've got a stack of good ones I've been itching to get into all semester. Worst of all, I've got no desire to play videogames. I've not had time for that since the summer, aside from what I stole to spend doing some Hellgate: London alpha/beta testing. I didn't buy a copy of the game upon release though, since I wouldn't have had time to play anyway, but also since I was waiting to hear from Flagship's moribund community relations team if they'd be providing copies and monthly subscriptions to fansite admins. (That's the industry standard now; people who run ites that cover games like World of Warcraft, Guild Wars, etc get free games and their monthly subscriptions paid for by the manufacturers.)
Apparently the answer about free games was "no." since I could never get an answer beyond "We'll look into it." so I finally ordered a copy of HGL through my own "buy crap" link, for that big 4% payback, and it arrived last week. I've played about 2 hours since then, and even though I was spending a lot of time studying for the stupid math test, I could have played more. I didn't really want to, though. It's not the game, I think it's fun and potentially addictive. I've just grown out of the habit of playing games for longer than 10 or 15 minutes at a time, and I'm not sure I want to get back into it. I feel like a 14 y/o who's just "discovered girls," but honestly, I'd so much rather spend time talking or shopping or eating lunch or just taking a walk with an interesting young woman than I would sitting at my computer and killing pixels with other pixels, that the whole concept of videogames seems kind of quaint at this point. The fact that my IG isn't a gamer probably factors in there somewhat (Malaya and I played a lot of D2 together in the early days.), but it's mostly about me. I've gotten used to doing so much stuff, with the hours of school work and thinking and being active, that returning to my old, self-despising ways of gaming to kill time seems uninviting. The fact that I'm supposedly running an HGL fansite is a complicating factor in that equation, but not one I'm prepared to address at this point, either in thought or in blog.
So, I don't know what I want to do tonight, or this weekend, or next week, other than on Tuesday when I've got a date with the IG, and then martial arts class that evening. I don't need to figure it out at this point though, since I'm off to San Diego Thursday morning. The interesting time will come in late December and early January, when I'm back here without any pressing school projects of any kind, the IGs still out of town visiting relatives, and I won't be able to put off "what do I do now?" considerations any longer. Stay tuned.
I do have huge plans for work; RL work, of the kind that provides financial remuneration, as well as hours a day booked for working on my fiction/novel, more time to redesign and re-engineer and relaunch this website, and hours more (in theory) on the HGL site, as well as considerations about apply to/preparing for (maybe) grad school come the fall. But will that be enough? Not that doing more is required for humans, and most of us don't fully engage in life, since just doing what's got to be done to get by is much easier. I don't want to slip back into that, though. Too many years have passed, leaving me little more than unwelcome memories and balky knees. Enough. Time for better.
Better what, though?
Labels: college, philosophy, the I.G.
