BlackChampagne -- no longer new; improvement also in question.: Finding my own meaning.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Finding my own meaning.
As I mentioned a couple of days ago, I've been enjoying a recording of a Chris Cornell acoustic concert. I had this song on repeat all evening, and during it my mood went gradually from "great song" to "heart broken" to "fiction aspirations." It's a yearningly beautiful, terribly sad love song. Here's a good quality recording of it from You Tube, or you can just download the whole album and extract the mp3, though you didn't hear me say that.
It was originally a Temple of the Dog song, but I think this version is a substantial improvement over the original. The acoustic guitar is just accompaniment, bringing Chris' vocal performance more to the front, and he's a better singer now, than he was in 1990. And perhaps he's learned a bit more about heartbreak and yearning in 20 years?
Read along with the lyrics as you listen, if you are so inclined. I'll get to the fiction inspiration below them.
You call me a dog well that's fair enough it aint no use to pretend, you're wrong when you call me out I can't hide anymore I have no disguise you cant see through
You say its bad luck To have fallen for me What can I say to make it good for you You wore me out, like an old winter coat Trying to be safe from the cold
But when its my time to throw the next stone I'll call you beautiful if I call at all
You call me a dog You say that I'm low cause I've slept on the floor Out in the woods with the badgers & wolves You threw me out cause I went digging for gold And I came home with a hand of coal
But when its my time to throw the next stone I'll call you beautiful if I call at all And when it's my time to call your bluff I'll call you beautiful or leave it alone
You call me a dog Well that's fair enough It doesn't bother me as long as you know Bad luck will follow you If you keep me on a leash and You drag me along
repeat chorus...
I feel these lyrics and emotion so profoundly, when I play the song loud and really listen to it. It tells a story; it doesn't just repeat the same chorus or verse a bunch of times, and it's got a cleverness and almost a plot twist with the wordplay in the final lines. It's not exactly autobiographical for me, but I think anyone who has ever loved and lost (which is anyone who has ever loved), or even just really, really wanted to love, and been denied the opportunity, can take something personal from this one.
It's archetypal. I will use a variant of this plot in a novel, some day.
My takeaway lesson isn't exactly what the lyrics convey, though. I feel it as a narrative of a man who loves a powerful woman too much. He's devoted to her, and she enjoys his devotion, but treats him like shit, while using him for her own purposes and needs. Eventually, someday, through the vicissitudes of fortune, their positions reverse, and she's the one down in the mud. He's got the power over her, others are urging him to take revenge, or to leave her to die. He's envenomed for vengeance, she's resigned to her fate, or bitterly defiant. But as he takes the stone in his hand, and raises it (metaphorically) to crush her... he hesitates. He can't do it. He still loves her. Perhaps now more than ever, with her vulnerability finally on display.
I don't see a happy ending to this tale, if you're wondering. There's no redemption of her, or validation of his love. He doesn't win her over. She takes the reprieve he offers and uses it to escape, or perhaps to restore her former power. She might even take a crueler revenge on him, for daring to spare her; to insult her by showing her mercy in her moment of shame and weakness.
The genders of one, or both, can of course be reversed without losing any of the essential archetypal power of the fable.
ita a very cool album. Reminds me why I love his voice. Its an interesting comparison between music like this and the louder stuff from Soundgarden and Audioslave. Its a voice that has significant character all on its own (like you were saying compared to the cutesy little idol winner).
