BlackChampagne -- no longer new; improvement also in question.: Floppers
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Floppers
This afternoon I somehow wound up watching some video compilations of the best (of the worst) flops from international soccer (football) matches. They're funny, but also quite frustrating to the fan.
I hadn't really thought about it in the past, but I think this could be a contributing factor to one reason soccer never has (and never will?) become a popular professional sport in the US. I don't think there's some sort of national pride or determination that makes Americans reject a sport where there are such gains to be made by pretending to be fouled, but the fact that it's so endemic to soccer is definitely a psychological hurdle Americans must clear to embrace the sport. I don't think foreigners like flopping any more than Americans, but they already like soccer and flopping is just something one must accept to enjoy the sport. Like learning to tolerate the constant, interminable commercial breaks that ruin most US sport telecasts. (Not that I'm the one to advice on that; they're the main reason I've given up watching live sports.)
Personally, I can't stand watching floppers. I wouldn't be watching soccer anyway, since 1) I don't have a TV, and 2) I don't watch live sports anymore since it's too much of a time sink, but the fact that players at the highest level react to almost every tackle or bodily collision by hurling themselves to the ground and writing in pretend agony is definitely something that sours me on the sport. I played soccer from about 5-14, and I remember how much I hated it when some wanker flopped around and tried to draw sympathy calls from the refs. I recall deliberately kicking a few guys in the ankles later in a game, after they flopped early on. I figured they should at least have a bruise or two to go with their performance. No, I wasn't a very happy or forgiving child.
To further the analogy, I follow pro basketball fairly closely, but I pay zero attention to college. I find it boring since the game is usually such a frantic scramble of 6'8" guys bouncing up and down without any real skill or direction, but I also hate the flopping and the way players are coached to try to draw charges at every possible opportunity. (Which leads directly to most of the flopping.) I hate charging as a rule anyway; the fun of the game is watching athletic guys score and attack the rim. There is strategy in obstructing their path, but do it like a man and go after the ball. Just attempting to sneakily leap in front of someone faster and more skillful, solely to cause them to crash into you and get a foul, is a loathsome practice.
The only reason it survives as a tactic is that college teams have deep benches and plenty of expendable players, and most of the players, even the stars, are fairly nice guys. If, instead of attempting to minimize the impact, the guys driving delivered a well-aimed elbow to the mouth/nose, or a knee to the groin/ribs, those would-be blockers would have to think twice. They do it that way in the pros, which is why the game is so much more open and enjoyable to watch. (That and the refs favor offense these days, and the players are so skilled that they can dodge around attempted blocking fairly routinely.) In college most kids know they're never going to the next level (especially the ones who are blocking, as opposed to being blocked) and they have to do what their asshole coaches tell them to do if they want to get on the court.
