This compilation is in poor taste, but since that's basically what the internet is for... It's a list of
the 18 "sexiest" (female) teachers who have been convicted for having sex with their (male) students. I skimmed over it idly, until something caught my eye... almost all of them are blonde!
Look for yourself: the first one is brunette, there are 2 or 3 with light brown hair, and one dyed red-head. But the other 14 or 15 (there are a couple of honorable mentions) are blonde, almost all from a bottle. That's way more blondes than you see in the general population, even controlling for the fact that every woman on the list is white.
This seems like more than a coincidence to me. I'm not going to suggest that bleaching your hair gives you pedophile impulses (Michael Jackson doesn't count since his hair is the only thing he didn't bleach), but the causation might well work the other way. The stereotype of blondes is that they "have more fun." In this case it might be more correct to say that they "provide more fun," or at least that's what they were incarcerated for, but that's not the point. The point is that in my experience, women who dye their hair blonde tend to be more interested in partying, acting younger than they are, doing wacky stuff, etc. It's almost like blonde hair is the uniform women put on before they cut loose; like middle aged men in sports cars. And in that light, it's not surprising that most of these hot teachers were blondes, since the same attitude that spurs inappropriate sexual encounters spurs bottle blonding...?
I should probably disclosure the fact that I'm not a fan of blondes, for reasons expressed above, and for stereotype accuracy. Name some famous blondes? Britney Spears, Jessica Simpson, Anna Nicole Smith, Pamela Anderson, Marilyn Monroe, etc. All famous for being busty bimbo airheads, and exactly the type of women I do not like, physically and especially mentally/personality wise. So of course I'm going to associate blonde hair with stupid behavior, since it so often comes atop stupid bimbos.
I actually had this conversation with a couple of first dates in recent months, since amidst the stated preferences on the online dating site is hair color. I did not select the blonde hair box, and two fair-haired semi-beauties asked me why not. To them I explained that I have nothing against blonde hair; it's "blondes" that I don't much care for. For reasons elaborated previously. Both were quite intelligent (and natural, and more light brown than blonde anyway) and understood my reasoning and anti-stereotype reaction. But it was odd that they'd even noticed; I've never once looked at the hair color preference listed by any of the women I view through the service, since it seems such an irrelevant issue. And yet, as my comments here demonstrate, it definitely matters to some people.
That said, the sexy teacher list was good for some eloels. I liked this one best:
Carrie McCandless
Age at time of offense: 29
Location: Jefferson County, CO
Occupation: High School English Teacher
Lover: 17 year-old male student
Crime: Having sex with a minor during a school sponsored camping trip to the Rockies. Pled guilty to tampering with evidence and contributing to the delinquency of a minor.
Sentence: 45 days in days in prison, 5 years probation, 1 - two year deferred sentence, 1 – 4 year deferred sentence and 10 year registration as a sex offender
Odd Fact: Carrie’s husband was the school’s principal.
So some 17 y/o on a field trip nailed his English teacher, who was quite the hottie, and whose husband was the principle. Seriously? He just won high school. Possibly for all time. They should erect (heh heh) a statue to that kid out front, so that his actions might serve as an inspiration to the students of tomorrow.
On the larger and more serious issue of underage sex... I dunno. It's an easy and quick joke to do "hot for teacher" references and talk about how lucky those 16 and 17 y/o's are, and I don't think any heterosexual male can objectively evaluate this issue. I sent the IG this link with a comment about them all being blonde, and she replied to ask me if I thought the women were pretty, and I was kind of dumbstruck. I told her it was like asking her (aspiring baker and dessert fancier) to enter a bakery and say which cake looked the prettiest. It's worse than that though, since men just sort of short circuit when we think about this issue. Most men can't help but remember (and can't ever forget) how horny and insecure and unhappy and confused we were during much of our teen years. So when we're asked to consider how we would have reacted if an attractive adult women had wanted sex from us then? *ding ding ding tilt*
That's the automatic response, at least. The more nuanced, informed answer is to look at the actual follow up psychological studies of these boys, and to see that most of them are quite fucked up by the experience. It seems like fun and games to have a hottie teacher giving you private lessons, but for people who actually have that happen the results are usually pretty poor. They feel betrayed and manipulated by an authority figure, they have problems with intimacy in later years, they can't maintain an equal balance in a relationship since they were seduced and controlled in their first one, they have trouble trusting women, etc.
Not that we should let that sort of unfortunate reality stand in the way of making inappropriate jokes, or wild generalizations about women with blonde hair. Right?
Labels: blondes, pedophilia, sex
