It's not often that I literally laugh out loud
at a news headline, but I did tonight.
Alaska Gov. Palin's daughter, fiance break up
WASILLA, Alaska – Levi Johnston and Bristol Palin, the teenage daughter of Gov. Sarah Palin, have broken off their engagement, he said Wednesday, about 2 1/2 months after the couple had a baby.
Johnston, 19, told The Associated Press that he and 18-year-old Bristol Palin mutually decided "a while ago" to end their relationship. He declined to elaborate as he stood outside his family's home in Wasilla, about 40 miles north of Anchorage.
Here's
some background info, which might give insight into my LOLitude.
...his MySpace page has given the media plenty to feast on. He reveals on it he's "a fucking redneck" and, worse, that he didn't want children. The latter statement – "I don’t want kids" – appears to contradict Governor Palin's insistence that the young lovebirds plan to marry soon. However, Johnston's mother, Sherry, says that while no pressure has been put on her son to marry Bristol, the teenagers had made plans to wed long before it was known she was pregnant.
Unfortunately, little is known of Levi – his MySpace page is now only accessible to friends - apart from the fact that he is something of a local hockey hero and that he did not graduate from Wasilla High School, Alaska. Sherry Johnston wants that situation to remain. Of the media interest, she said: "This is out of my league. I’m just a country gal and I want to keep it that way."
Right from the start, Levi was quite obviously every small town jock douche bag, and a shining example of small town wing nut morality. A minor sports success in a hick town, a high school drop out with
a junkie mom, a boy-child in no way shape or form ready to settle down, Levi had grown accustomed to nailing
sluts like Bristol and walking away. His downfall came when he screwed the
mayor's governor's daughter and was to stupid to use a condom properly. Worse, her moms was improbably propelled into the Vice Presidential slot on the Republican ticket, a turn of events that forced (and doubtlessly enriched) Levi to go along with the "of course we're getting married" charade.
It's possible there was someone more relieved than Levi when McCain/Palin lost, but I wouldn't bet on it. He might have been pressured into marriage if his baby momma's momma was the Veep, or perhaps the wingnut welfare would have been lucrative enough to make a few years of a sham marriage worthwhile. When Palin lost that dream/nightmare came to a merciful end, and after weeks of rumors leaking through friends, he finally had to make a public statement today.
I don't know if this Jerry Springer episode has a moral, other than underlining the absolute essentiality of getting your wild teenaged daughter on reliable birth control, but the tragedy of these events for the principles is largely offset by the
amusement they've given to the nation as a whole.
Labels: sarah palin
