...I've just been too busy to blog. Tons of work on the D3 site with still all the post-Blizzcon content going up, plus ongoing news of all sorts. Plus I'm working what spare hours I can find on the ongoing wine/mystery novel with Dad. And the new girlfriend, who may or may not continue to be dubbed "Elle," continues to (quite pleasantly) occupy much of my free time. (As I noted previously, this Elle is an online alias for a woman who has no connection of any sort to the Elly I've worked with on the Diablo site for more than a decade.)
I drove down to her home (some distance south of San Francisco) Saturday afternoon, enduring somewhat amazing traffic in the process (thanks to the
Bay Bridge's closure), and got there just in time for the tail end of a big family party in a local park, celebrating her niece's seventh b-day. I was only there long enough to help clean up and have my first, slightly surreal encounter with Elle's identical twin sister, and then we were off. Elle and I had planned to go out to dinner that evening, but the party at the park went late and she'd saved me/us a bunch of leftovers, so we just went back to her house and heated up chicken, ravioli, pasta salad, and had that with some of the huge crop of tomatoes I'd brought down. And then ensued private diversions of which I shall not speak publicly. (Unlike in the old days.)
Monday we enjoyed the holiday and after I cooked her/us waffles for breakfast, we spent some time exploring the different rooms of her home, before finally heading out to get lunch at the restaurant we'd planned to dine at the previous night. We then explored some around her town, visiting the big central park and watching people play soccer and do other park-like activities. I cooked us a pasta dinner at her place, and we also made cornbread muffins and had toasted sesame loaf and I made a surprisingly tasty little tomato salad with romas and yellow cherries from my garden, splashed with olive oil, balsamic, with rosemary and basil (dried) for seasonings. It was really good to dip the bread into also.
We adjourned the evening at a reasonable hour since she had to get up early for work on Tuesday and I had to get back here early/conscious enough to do a few hours of catch up work on the D3 site.
Okay, one quick identical twin story. While we were cleaning up after the party, I was carrying things from the park area down to the parking area. On one trip I brought down a few decorations and some plates of extra food, walked up beside my GF, and said, "I think these are yours?" She looked at me and smiled and said, "No, those are for Elle." (Well, she said Elle's actual name, but you know what I mean.)
At this I simply paused and blinked. There was another woman at the party with the same (real) name as Elle, but she'd already left and I didn't think there was any way the items could be hers. Plus I'd been told they were for Elle, the one I'm dating.
It wasn't for another few seconds before I realized that I was talking to Elle's sister, not to Elle herself. And then I was like,
"Well, good thing I didn't walk up and pat her on the ass, or give her a kiss."They're nearly identical in bodily proportions, and they have the same hair. I can tell them apart facially, looking side by side, and they were wearing different colored clothing, but that wasn't the problem. The problem was that I hadn't thought, "There are 2 women here who are 99% identical and one of them I'm dating and the other I just met." I'd just been on autopilot while carrying items to the parking lot, and had naturally walked up to the woman who looked just like my girlfriend (from the side), and addressed her as though I knew who she was, without pausing to think, "Is that Elle, or her sister?"
I'd guess that happens fairly often to people who are newly around identical twins. As humans we're used to recognizing things by quick glances and just by knowing who or what we expect to be there. And it's not often in our experience that 2 individuals literally can't be discerned between without careful inspection. Especially not when one of them is an individual with whom you are intimately familiar. I've spent dozens of hours with Elle over the past six weeks, and this was the first 15 minutes I'd ever spent in the company of her sister. So naturally, I assume a woman who looks just like Elle is Elle. And clearly, I'll need to keep the fact that there are 2 of them conscious in my mind, during any future encounters. Next time I'll remember that, and make some concrete note in my thoughts of what color top each is wearing, or something along those lines.
One odd thing I'd wondered about proved not to be a factor. I'd asked Elle fairly early on if she ever felt weird meeting one of her sister's boyfriends, since they knew what she looked like naked. Not that knowing what someone looks like naked is the be-all-end-all of human interaction (not even from the male PoV), but it is something that men tend to think about when they interface with attractive, shapely females. And the fact is that identical twins... are identical. So if you've seen one, you've seen both, at least in theory.
I'd asked Elle early on if she'd be embarrassed if her twin did a nude photo shoot, or had a sex tape leaked to the internet. Not just embarrassed since it was her twin/best friend, but on a more personal level, since for all 99% of viewers could tell, it might as well be her instead of her sister. She laughed at the question, and wasn't sure how she'd feel. It was too bizarre a situation for her to imagine, since neither she nor her sister are the type of women who are ever likely to wind up in that scenario.
Furthermore, while it was fascinating to meet her sister, who is a very nice and interesting person in her own right, I had zero thoughts about, "I know what this woman looks like naked." when we met. It wasn't until much later that night that I even remembered my initial and hypothetical, "But her BF knows what you look like naked?" question, and thinking about it now, it doesn't have any frisson to me. I suppose that yes, I know what Elle's sister's body looks like, but that's not the same. Since she's a different person.
I've never met a woman who I'd previously seen naked from photos or a movie, but I suppose that's sort of the same thing. If you meet Pam Anderson, sure you know what she looks like naked, but that's not at all the same thing as actually seeing her naked with your own eyes. Especially not in an intimate setting. (Whether you want to or not isn't the point; I'm just addressing the hypothetical.) I didn't think about Elle's sister in that way, and I haven't since. I'm interested in the psychology of the whole matter, but I'm not personally burdened with any twin fantasies. And while I'm aware that some men have crazy threesome fantasies about twins and/or sisters, does that really apply to identical twins?
I can envision it being pretty sexy to get 2 women into the same bed, especially if they were both very attractive, and perhaps it would be something of a boost if they were similar in appearance. But identical? Wouldn't that be weird, like you were with two androids from the same assembly line? (Leaving aside, for now, the issue of men who actually have fetishes/fantasies about identical androids.) Or surreal, like you were drunk enough to see/hallucinate double?
Not that any of this exists other than as a hypothetical amusement, since I've never wanted to bring another woman into an existing relationship, and even if I did Elle wouldn't, and even if we both did, there's no way it would be her sister. Wait, how did I even get onto this topic? I think I'm just trying to head off lecherous comments before they're even made.
At any rate, it was a very nice weekend, as was the weekend before, and it's hard for me to believe that I've been back from my San Diego/Anaheim/BlizzCon work trip/vacation for 2 weeks, the way the time has flown. Hopefully time will continue to fly, since I want to replace the long hours I've spent on D3 stuff with long hours spent on novel stuff, and I want to continue to spend long hours on social interactions with my new girlfriend. I'm not sure where blogging time fits into that, but I suppose BC will remain something of the red-headed stepchild of my temporal affections. And that's a grim promise spoken by an actual red-headed stepchild.
As a parting gift, I offer you this. The LoLcat I've laughed hardest at in recent months.
Labels: elle, lolcats, personal, psychology
