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BlackChampagne -- no longer new; improvement also in question.: Worst Tech Products of All Time



Friday, May 26, 2006  

Worst Tech Products of All Time


Enjoyable article on the Worst 25 Tech Products of All Time. It's odd to have an all time list that only covers the last 20 years, but I suppose that's the definition of "tech." The top five, in order: AOL, Real Player, Syncronys SoftRAM, Windows ME, Sony BMG Music CDs. The list seems relatively fair overall; lots of MS bashing, but they core a few Apples too, and in addition to hanging it on big companies like Sony and AOL and IBM, they single out a few lower profile disasters as well.

There's not much software on the list; understandable since it's about tech products and services, but they do find space to immortalize a few especially awful offerings.
8. Microsoft Internet Explorer 6 (2001)
Full of features, easy to use, and a virtual engraved invitation to hackers and other digital delinquents, Internet Explorer 6.x might be the least secure software on the planet. How insecure? In June 2004, the U.S. Computer Emergency Readiness Team (CERT) took the unusual step of urging PC users to use a browser--any browser--other than IE. Their reason: IE users who visited the wrong Web site could end up infected with the Scob or Download.Ject keylogger, which could be used to steal their passwords and other personal information. Microsoft patched that hole, and the next one, and the one after that, and so on, ad infinitum.

13. IBM PCjr. (1984)
Talk about your bastard offspring. IBM's attempt to build an inexpensive computer for homes and schools was an orphan almost from the start. The infamous "Chiclet" keyboard on the PCjr. was virtually unusable for typing, and the computer couldn't run much of the software written for its hugely successful parent, the IBM PC.

A price tag nearly twice that of competing home systems from Commodore and Atari didn't improve the situation. Two years after Junior's splashy debut, IBM sent him to his room and never let him out again.

22. Apple Pippin @World (1996)
Maybe if they'd called it the Winesap instead of the Pippen... Nah. This game console was slower than a worm through a Granny Smith.Before Xbox, before PlayStation, before DreamCast, there was Apple's Pippin. Wha-huh? That's right--Apple had an Internet-capable game console that connected to your TV. But it ran on a weak PowerPC processor and came with a puny 14.4-kbps modem, so it was stupendously slow offline and online.

Then, too, it was based on the Mac OS, so almost no games were available for it. And it cost nearly $600--nearly twice as much as other, far more powerful game consoles. Underpowered, overpriced, and underutilized--that pretty much describes everything that came out of Apple in the mid-90s.
Given my interests, I of course want to see a list of the top 25 worst games. How those would be calculated is hard to say, but it would be fun to figure it out. Games that weren't playable due to bugs and other programming issues would be there, but do you include Triple A big budget titles along with those Bass Fishing things you see for $5 in the discount bin? Do games that weren't awful, but were just endlessly delayed get a mention? And so on. In fact, I'm sure someone's done a list like that already. Feel free to send me the URL if you've got it.

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Comments:

I don't know where there is a comprehensive list of the worst games of all time, but I do have a nomination: Chronicles of the Sword. (I would love to steer you to the homepage for it but I can't seem to find one, though it is ten years old)

Now, this game takes sucking to levels that I never thought possible. There are a couple of reviews for it on Amazon.com, one of which must obviously have been written by a spokesman for the company, the other two are pretty accurate. Except that they don't include the worst detail about the game.

When I bought the game in early 1997 it was unplayable. I don't mean that it was difficult (impossible would be a better word), but because you literally could not play it. Stick the cd into your playstation and it would start the game, the second you try to leave the first screen the screen would lock up and give an error message.

Psygnosis did have a help line for the game at the time, which told you how to circumvent the problem; all you have to do is open and close the cover several times to make it find the correct data. The only problem was that you were not able to load a saved game in that manner, only advance through it beginning to end. So you would literally have to start over every time you played it.

I assume that they managed to fix that on later releases as it is not mentioned in the reviews, but they never seemed to fix the absolute lack of a story line or plot.

That is the only game I have ever owned that you actually couldn't play right out of the box. Didn't they beta test the thing?


 

Try this:

http://www.gamespot.com/reviews.html?type=reviews&platform=5&mode=all&sort=score&dlx_type=all&sortdir=desc

Not a compiled list of rankings, but the reviews are generally pretty hilarious.

Incidentally, Diablo is the highest rated PC game on gamespot ever.


 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Games_considered_the_worst_ever

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_commercial_failures_in_computer_and_video_gaming

(there are aditional links in these wiki articles, at the bottom)

top ten shameful games: http://www.gamespy.com/articles/492/492996p1.html


 

Database systems are extremely complex, if their product really was in such a bad shape when they shipped it, they probably had to re-write it from scratch.


 

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